And by Proportions i mean Feelings …
I haven’t felt this ‘boy crazy’ since Isaiah …. and man those days were so painful and confusing - i remember laying down in bed for hours thinking, thinking and thinking.
Well that’s what’s happening to me right now with Greg, i’m liking him so much and so fast … and i like it but i hate it, my feelings are tru the roof and i’m scare - i know that i’ll get hurt BIG time if things don’t work out - its like i’m preparing myself and my heart for that at the same time… when all i known is good bye … i can’t help it.
My friend Laura told me - when i told her about my feelings - that i should ‘SHOW HIM NOT TELL HIM’ how i feel. and those words echo in my head a lot, and they are true, i should show him not tell him, as nowadays the word LOVE or I LOVE YOU are thrown around so fast and easily and sometimes without any actually meaning, i don’t wanna tell him i like him yet, i want to show him, but at the same time i don’t know if he ‘likes’ me back or not. It’s scary
Another thing, him hanging out with Adam EEKS me to no end. its not Jealously as Adam has a BF but idk just the thought of Greg being with Adam… that human being just eeks me and bugs me but i’m no one to tell him who he can or can’t hang out with, i just hope Adam doesn’t hurt him as Adam is not a nice person, and i know that for personal experience.
So Greg told me that he was going to drop his class because he doesn’t have $ for the book and our teacher is going to drop us if we don’t have it, and well i offer to buy it for him, like lent him money- he can pay me back when he gets $ - but now i’m all wondering how the hell i’m going to pay my class and if i’m going to be able to like have a few days so i can pay like ask my brothers for some money and pay it - eek - but honestly i’m only taking this class cause Greg is there and i want to be with him and get to know him more - so yeah anything to make sure that happens… now i just PRAY and HOPE that i get added tomorrow !! and that i get a few days to pay my class and don’t get drop or everything is going to be a big FLOP -__-
“Show him, not tell him”
“show him, not tell him”
Words to live by.
So Greg is upset and i so wish i knew the exact words to make him feel better - i swear - its sucks to see someone sad, when you care for them…
I guess the principle of being just there for them is in play here… ugh if only he could see this blog and read how i feel for him </3 and all the things i could say to him.
I want him to invite me in his weird and complex mind, i can’t read him at all. and those are always the most intriguing / Anthony …. his mind freaking mind fucked me beyond recognition.
I wanna be mind fucked by Greg.