OMFG i have flipped !! i am a mess right now, emotionally, i should sleep so i can chill for a while.
So this was my day….
So Greg and I wanted to hang out today, we were trying to see what we could like come up so we can do today - but without a car or money nothing woulda work, so he brought this idea up of him coming over to my house and i agreed to it. and well i was freaking out cause i have never brought a friend to my house before ever, so i was thinking omfg what is my mom gonna say, is she going to be okay with it? cause she always gives a lot of beef to Jonathan (my brother) when he brings his friends and won’t even offer them food or nothing… so i decided to like get up really early and clean up as much as i could so i could bride my mom with that. and well i told her and surprisingly she said it was fine and that she would even feed him!! omfg it was perfect.
So then i went to the bus stop to get Greg and omg lol he wasn’t on the bus at first, like the best passed and he wasn’t even on. i was like wtf but he had gotten off on a previous stop and i saw him walking in the distance lol - man i swear i got scared for a while, but yeah so we came home and i presented him and everything - we watched Hairspray ;) and it was nice, we went to eat and then came back on were online talking a bit and watching The Monster Ball too :) i must admit it was nice but sometimes it would like get awkward like ummm hi lol
But i don’t mind it, i mean sure i wish we could be closer but i gotta be realistic here, i’m beginning to know him this always happens - i remember when i met my friends Krystal and Michael just recently at first it was awkward like what to talk about next and stuff like that but now that we have build memories and a connection we can speak about anything and a conversation just comes naturally .. and i just gotta chill and give it time at least we are talking good and its going good so far.
He has shown interest and that’s good. So i walked him to the bus stop and it was awkward lol but then we started talking about movies and it was good, when the bus came we looked at each other like we were about to kiss … but we just hug - and i got to admit BEST HUG EVER - so long and strong and just uff !!!
I just gotta admit i freaking miss him so badly, i can’t believe he was just here in my bed a few hours ago, my blankets still have the smell of his scent and its amazing - i don’t it to ever go away :/ - he posted this pictures of him and i started crying!! so much emotion, he’s so freaking gorgeous and god i just want to like know him more and be with him he’s freaking ugh everything i ever wanted, i fell in love with him since the very first moment i saw him, i don’t think he did with me, but i did - love at first sight and i do think that at this point i like him more that he likes me idk that’s just what i think.
I’m so hoping and praying i get my ASL class cause i have Greg in that class - OH PLZ GOD let me get the class so i can get to know him more and more !!! i have posted like 3 posts on facebook and they all end up getting deleted cause i don’t wanna come across as desperate - i gotta play my cards right and don’t ruin it this time, i have to see my mistakes i did on past relationships and play it right and smart.
I just do miss him so bad, i hope he misses me too, he is on facebook but he won’t message him and i won’t either, i don’t want to like bug him or come across too strong, and i hope that’s the same reason for him not messaging me … man i just wanna feel more better, idk man this sucks lol - i love and hate this part of a relationship cause i’m dying to know what he is thinking …. god - i just need to shut my brain off for a bit and chill - i’ll talk to him later (tomorrow night) and just continue growing on our friendship and see where that leads us …
I just wanna msg him sooo badly but i shouldn’t - but what if , but, but …. ugh lol dang all this is crazy.
But i can officially say that i have FLIPPED for him, man here we go again, please don’t hurt me Greg, please be the one i have been waiting for and i so hope i’m the one you have been waiting for too …