Its April and so far no new love interest have surface, and i was okay with that till like last week, i mean i don’t think i’m 100% ready to date, emotionally, physically, financially, etc. but honestly who is to say when one is ready 100% to date?? Doesn’t love just come out of the blue….
So after an amazing weekend, with my wifey and Ashweed and seeing their successful match they got from OkCupid, i decided to give it a try.
First i do have to say that as of last monday i was down to 186 lbs :D almost to the lightest i have ever been, 185 two years ago. but i do think i have gone up since this weekend was very bad on my diet :/ good thing i’m back to the gym tomorrow and imma get up from this stumble and keep working on that body and my self confidence cause even at (almost) lowest i still don’t feel good enough, i feel fat and ugly and as much as i LOVE clubbing it hurts like to see so many hot guys, almost perfect like and couples too, it just kills my self confidence.
But i just gotta keep on working on myself and i’m not going to give up any time soon.
So yesterday i started OkCupid, and began the process again, and i found this guy, Manny, physically he’s gorgeous, super hot, blue eyes, angel like - and it’s scary sometimes i don’t reach out to those people cause i don’t want to like waste my time, since i know i’m going to get deny and ignore, but he talked to me back, and today we talked the whole day! and our conversation vary from sports, school, major, music, it was great, not awkward at all, he showed interest in me, and it’s awesome, yet scary at the same time!
That feeling is coming back, Those nervous butterflies are starting to flutter in my stomach, my heart is starting to beat a bit faster and it jumps when i get a msg from him.
I’ts so scary yet great and promising. The thing i like the most about him is the fact that he has never date and he’s a virgin!! he’s my ideal guy, that’s exactly what i wanted, i want to explore those first with someone who will be experiencing them for the first time too.
That site asks questions about us and our personality and our personalities, beliefs and such and we rank really high, of course those are just numbers what really matters is when we meet in person and see how we click.
I gotta take this slow, i have learn so much from the past ‘relationships’ i have had, from the do’s and don’ts and its time to put them to practice here and on future relationships - i know myself and i know my biggest flaw is over thinking and i have TONS and TONS of time for that and is scary, gotta do this right.
Relax, Take A Deep Breath, and Take This Day By Day.
One thing i do have to say, he reminds me sooooo much of Logan Lerman! and Heroes aka The Tunnel Song is officially his first song, with Lana’s Summer Wine and Young and Beautiful following, we know how The Perks of Being a Wallflower makes me feel, but now is going (or could go) into a whole new different level! It’s Crazy.
“You understood so you shouldn’t have fought it”